Sunday, September 7, 2008

The Second-Time Around

The Handsome Hunk and I were discussing having babies the other day (in general.....don't get excited). We came to the conclusion that it's a lot funner having a baby the second time.

Not that it wasn't fun having The Blue-Eyed Boy. But we were first time parents. We were freaking out about what kind of parents we would be and if we would be good ones. We were reading the parenting books and magazines and making sure we did everything they said. We were constantly comparing him to all our friends' kids. We were worried when he didn't reach all of his milestones right when he was "supposed" to. We had to make sure to have all the best toys and gadgets and junk--er stuff.

Having the Red-Haired Girl is so much easier. We are not first time parents and already have our own parenting "style" down. We don't need to pour over parenting books and magazines anymore because we've already done this once before (not to say we don't look once in a while to refresh our memories). I don't find it necessary to compare my baby to other peoples babies. We can just sit and enjoy our little angel girl rather than worry that she isn't rolling yet while the baby down the street is already crawling and saying it's abc's at 3 weeks old (exaggeration of course but if you're a parent you know what I'm talking about!). We don't need a ton of toys or gadgets or stuff. We've realized it's actually easier the less stuff you have--babies don't need much and would much rather chew on your kitchen spoon rather than the fancy song-singing, light-blinking 20 dollar teething ring you bought at Yonkers.

There's no stress or fuss. There's nothing to worry about and wonder about. We can just watch our little girl grow and blossom into the beautiful little person she is. We learned from having the Blue-Eyed Boy that everyone grows at their own pace. Blue-Eyed Boy didn't roll over until he was almost 6 months old, but skipped crawling and was walking at 9 months. Some babies don't walk until 15 months. We're all different and develop differently which can't be (and shouldn't be) tracked on a chart.

I love this. I love the freedom of the second time around, I wish we could have experienced this the first time around. I love just being a mom rather than worrying about what kind of mom I should be. I love that we can revel in our little miracle baby. I love that we can just let her be a baby and not be in such a hurry for her to reach all of her milestones right "on track" (not that she's "off track" or anything, but we're not stressed about it).

I'm not saying I didn't enjoy the Blue-Eyed Boy when he was a baby. I love love looooooved when he was a baby (and I love that he's a toddler now)!! I'm just realizing that I missed out on the pure joy of his babyhood. In all the stress and worry and wondering what was coming next I missed out on just being in the here and now with him. I was always looking toward the future, I was always making sure I was doing everything "just right" (and by just right I mean "by the book"). That's not to say there weren't times I would just sit and watch him sleep for half an hour, or cuddle up with him on the couch and revel in his teeny little toes and fingers. It's just that this time around there are more of those moments. The future doesn't matter (to an extent)--living in these moments right now are what's important this time.

Maybe I've realized how fast time goes with the Blue-Eyed Boy coming up on his 3rd birthday next month (ahhh my little boy is growing soo fast!). They're only little for so long. Before I know it she'll be a sassy little 3 year old like her brother (and probably driving me batty like he does!). And that's fun in it's own way. But I am loving the infant stage...she's all full of smiles and giggles. Baby talk---oh how I love baby talk! She's just a roly-poly mass of softness and sweetness and I'm not about to miss one second of that worrying about if I'm doing it "all right"!! Love is what they need, and I'm prepared to give them everything I've got!

I thank the Lord that He gave us two such beautiful blessings as our Blue-Eyed Boy and Red-Haired Girl. They truly are our little miracles and make life so much better.

Parenting.2---much improved from parenting.1!


quitecontrary1977 said...

i was so worried with my daughter that i want to have a pregnancy that i can just enjoy! your kids are gorgeous!

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