Saturday, July 19, 2008

Day 6 Without The "Blue Guy" and Parenting Thoughts

Blue-Eyed Boy is doing great without his Blue Guy. He only asks for it twice a day...nap time and bedtime. Other than that he never asks for it. He doesn't even mind that Red-Haired Girl has one. Can I get a hallelujah?? (For the rest of the Blue Guy saga go here and here).

In other news....

He has been remarkably well behaved since The Bite. I think I scared him with the intensity of my anger when he bit his sister. As I said before I had never been so angry at him in all his life. I was thinking about this today and it got me thinking about parenting and discipline and such. As I've talked about before we rarely (and I mean rarely) used the word "no" with Blue-Eyed Boy when he was younger (as he's gotten older and uses it himself we use it a little more, but not excessively). Our thinking was that we would use "no" for the big stuff. The things that put him in danger or were "biggies" like hitting, biting, etc. For the little things we'd say "please don'". When we do use "no" he knows he better listen because mommy and daddy mean business. I think this same sort of thing happened with The Bite. I rarely raise my voice to him. I rarely get angry with him. I get frustrated and annoyed, but not really angry. He never does anything "bad" enough. So, when mommy yelled and immediately put him in a time-out with no warning...he might of been a little freaked out.

I know it's easy to fly off the handle with your kids. Especially if it's been a long day and they have been awful. But if you save the anger for the really big things (like biting your newborn sister) they will really listen and know you mean business. I think part of it is the shock factor, the other part is they pick up that you are more serious and stern than usual and it's probably kind of scary a bit. And who wants their parents mad at them? Nobody (I hope). Especially not a 2 year old. He just wants love and attention.

Which is another point to be made. If you give your kids the love and attention they desire, guess what?? They won't misbehave so much. If their desires are fulfilled they don't need to ask for anything more. Watch your kids and you will see when you have been too busy to play or interact they will start to act out.

Anyways...I guess what I'm trying to say is love your kids and don't sweat the small stuff. Leave the anger and the major discipline for the big stuff. The stuff that affects their safety (or their sisters safety), and the things that will affect their character in the long run. Besides, if you yell and yell and yell all the time....they will just tune you out. So, take a deep breath, think like a rational person and ask emptying the laundry basket of the just folded clothes really that big of a deal?? Not in the long run. So, put your kid in a time-out and move on. No, yelling or overreacting necessary.


design by